but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize