So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
jump out the window naked night went bad
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
