What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
