How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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