Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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