Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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