Just cropdusted the office
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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