If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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