no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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