One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
