The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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