Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
