So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize