you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
