Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
