I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
