Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I have aggressive nipples.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
