I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Randomize
