he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Randomize
