I can tuck mytits in my pants
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
