dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
