I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
