Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
