Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
