I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize