so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
