He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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