Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
