As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
