yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
