Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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