i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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