I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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