I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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