Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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