"it" just moved
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Lo siento on account of my penis...
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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