Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
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