I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
