that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
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