the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
