I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
