Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just want to make out with him forever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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