belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
