is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
