No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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