I wanna passion pit in your ass
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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