Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
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