Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
