U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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