I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
